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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24295387">tell ourselves a good lie</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupcakeb/pseuds/cupcakeb'>cupcakeb</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>set that crown on the ground [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Elite (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, F/M, Half-Sibling Incest, Recreational Drug Use</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:36:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,555</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24295387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupcakeb/pseuds/cupcakeb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Without fail, Lu likes to start fires and expects him to put them out. Without fail, she forgets he isn’t going to.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lucrecia "Lu" Montesinos Hendrich/Valerio Montesinos Hendrich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>set that crown on the ground [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753876</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This loosely follows my previous story <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23692420">Fair Game</a> in terms of timeline, so you might want to read that. </p><p>We know next to nothing about Valerio, a character I happen to find quite fascinating, so I thought I'd flesh his story out a bit.</p><p>Yes, there will be two more chapters. Probably.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“you can still hear her name on your tongue, clean as the sound the axe makes, then muffled like the year between you is a closed door.” </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> - Claire Schwartz, Bound </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Valerio doesn’t quite get kicked out of boarding school this time. His grades are solidly average, and his teachers cautiously optimistic about his academic potential. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He has friends at school, obviously, but they’re not like the crowd he usually attracts. Turns out there are only so many chill people to hang out with when you’re forced to attend an elite boarding school in the English countryside. So yeah, he still loves a good party, but he’s also acutely aware that 18 is a little too old to risk being caught with drugs in a country where his father does not enjoy diplomatic immunity.<br/>
<br/>
So he parties some, studies a little, and spends the year repenting for his many years of debauchery.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">There are girls, of course, but none of them stick. Most of them are brunette, because he has a type, and sometimes they remind him of someone. But then their hair will be too thin, their eyes too green and he doesn’t know why it feels off but it does.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He finishes the school year, passes all of his classes, and suddenly feels claustrophobic. This isn’t his life to live and he needs a lifeline. He wants to talk to Lu, but he hasn’t heard from her since Christmas, or maybe it was his birthday in November, he can’t quite recall.<br/>
<br/>
One of his classmates throws a little end-of-year party in his dorm room, and Valerio shows up with two bottles of scotch and the intent to get fucked up and maybe even laid. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He leaves the party at two in the morning, alone and sufficiently drunk. The world is spinning when he stares up at the ceiling from his bed, his phone burning a hole into his hand. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> <b>2:33: </b> <em>What if I came home?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He knows she probably won’t read the text for a few hours — it’s even later in Spain than it is in the UK, and Lu loves to preach about the importance of getting a good night’s sleep. Still, he can’t help but lock his phone and put it down on his nightstand face down, afraid to see it light up with her response. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">When he wakes up the next morning, his stomach is in knots from a combination of scotch, the dinner he didn’t eat, and nerves. He rubs a hand over his face and grabs his phone, both excited and afraid to see Lu’s inevitable response.<br/>
<br/>
<b>6:11: </b><em>do whatever you need to do Val</em></span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> <b>6:37:</b> <em> I don’t know why you think I would care either way</em> </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t know what he expected from her, but the rejection hurts all the same. She’s probably bluffing, he thinks, and tries to stop his mind from racing.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">It’s move out day, so he packs up the single suitcase he arrived on campus with last fall and heads for the door. Summers in Chile - that’s the deal his parents struck years ago, in what can only be described as the opposite of a custody battle — a battle that neither parent wanted to win. His mother wasn’t interested in custody, but his dad insisted Valerio at least spend his summers off school with her. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">When he leaves the room, the only trace of him having existed in these four walls for the past 10 months is the folded up school uniform regulation shirts he’s left out on his bed. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He calls a car to take him to the airport, and tells his father he plans on finishing school in Spain in a tense call from a bar at Heathrow.<br/>
<br/>
“Please dad, I’ve changed,” he murmurs, swirling the bourbon around in his glass. “I just want to be around family next year.” </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He can hear his father sighing on the other end of the line, mumbling something about how he’s nothing but trouble.<br/>
<br/>
“Just think about it, okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Hanging up the phone, he downs the rest of his drink and orders another. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">…</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">When things feel too fucked up for Valerio to bare, he likes to remember that he brought this on himself. He chose to return, chose to pursue this whole Lu thing.<br/>
<br/>
So really, when it eventually falls apart, he only has himself to blame. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">…<br/>
<br/>
Valerio returns to Spain on an early September evening, where his father opens the door to an empty house. That's how it feels, anyway - empty, unremarkable, dull. He knows Lu isn't home before his dad even goes to explain.<br/>
<br/>
“Lu is staying with Guzmán’s family in Asturias,” his dad says, and he feigns agreement when the older man comments on what a great couple Lu and Guzmán make. “She’ll be back Saturday in time for school on Monday.”<br/>
<br/>
This gives Valerio exactly three days to get his shit together, not that he’s counting.<br/>
<br/>
He says hi to his step mom before excusing himself, blaming jet lag (which doesn’t even make sense, since it’s early afternoon in Chile) and hurries up to his room.<br/>
<br/>
He pauses outside of Lu’s door for a moment, trying to will away the memories of sneaking into it in the middle of the night. The whole house feels wrong without her here, feels like the sort of cold, soulless mansion it really is.<br/>
<br/>
The door opens before he even realizes he’s got his hand on the doorknob. He surveys his surroundings, takes in the large king sized bed with the sheets fully made, the framed photo of Lu and Guzmán on her nightstand, and gets an idea.<br/>
<br/>
Popping open the top buttons on his shirt, he throws himself on the bed, grabbing the photo next to the bed and gets out his phone. Once he’s found the right angle for the selfie he’s planning to take, he grabs the picture frame with his other hand, covering up Guzmán’s face with his fingers.<br/>
<br/>
Scrolling through the pictures he took, he finally settles on the one where he pulls off a very convincing pout, attaches it to an iMessage and stares at his phone, trying to come up with a clever caption.<br/>
<br/>
<b>18:33: </b><em>looking forward to having you back so we can take better pictures for you to frame</em></span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He swears he can actually feel her roll her eyes when she reads it, that’s how well he knows how to push her buttons. Her instant reply doesn’t surprise him.<br/>
<br/>
<b>18:34: </b><em>get out of my room, creep</em><br/>
<br/>
<em>no can do</em>, he replies, quickly burrowing under the covers for another picture. <em>think I’m gonna sleep here tonight<br/>
<br/>
</em>Her reply is lightning fast, a picture of her next to a pool, smiling while giving the camera the finger and he chuckles. It’s so very Lu of her to have this sort of picture ready to go. His eyes linger on the tiny red string bikini she’s wearing and he tries to ignore the nausea creeping up on him when he remembers that Guzmán is the one who gets to take it off of her. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Maybe this will be harder than he thought, he ponders, this whole being around Lu thing.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He falls asleep in her bed, surrounded by the scent of her perfume. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">…</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He purposefully avoids the house on Saturday night. All day, he spends lounging at the pool, trying not to flinch whenever he hears the front door open. When Lu still isn’t back by 7 pm, he figures the safest way to play this is by leaving the house altogether, so he grabs his phone and wallet and calls a cab.<br/>
<br/>
It’s at this quaint little bar he likes downtown that he chances upon the instagram post of a random acquaintance in town advertising an end of summer party. Deciding he has nothing better to do than go to a party solo, he finishes his beer and tapas and walks over to the nearby venue.<br/>
<br/>
He normally tries to be subtle about his drug habits in public, but he figures a small alley at 9 pm is hardly the place where he’ll be busted for doing coke, so he pulls out the convenient little vial he likes to wear as a necklace and helps himself. Thankfully, his former dealer is still in the business of selling anything from weed to elephant tranquilizers, so he’s been able to pick up right where he left off.<br/>
<br/>
Walking into the outdoor area of the club, he tries to scan his surroundings for people he knows but can’t seem to recognize anyone. It’s on his way to the bar that he quite literally bumps into a familiar face. As his hands go out to steady the girl, his eyes move from her tight blonde bun to her face and he bites back a grin.<br/>
<br/>
“Valerio?”<br/>
<br/>
“Carla, wow, look at you!” He pulls her into a brief hug before pulling back and coming to stand an appropriate distance away from her.<br/>
<br/>
“I thought you were in England,” she queries, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow in question. He shrugs in response and she eyes him warily. “Where’s Lu? I told her to come but she was vague about when she’d get home tonight.”<br/>
<br/>
He briefly considers being honest with the blonde, because he assumes Lu will have told her best friend she’s not speaking to her brother, but thinks better of it. That’s none of his business, and neither is standing here and having this conversation right now, so he decides to end it.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“Let me know if you find her before I do,” is all he says, giving her a grin and a pat on the shoulder as he moves on to the bar to order a scotch.<br/>
<br/>
When he does spot her an hour later, he’s still nursing that first scotch, having decided to stick to other substances for the night.<br/>
<br/>
He’s thought about what it would be like to see her again for weeks, and yet, the moment he does feels both better and worse than he imagined.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">She’s across the outdoor dance floor, a drink (gin and tonic, of course, because that’s her favorite) in hand, talking animatedly to Carla as she sways to the latin music blaring from the speakers. Her emerald dress looks painted on, her skin refreshed by the summer sun and he’s pretty sure if this was a movie, he’d gasp and have to pick his jar up off the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He knows she’s seen him because her facial expression changes for just a fraction of a second, and he wants to play it cool, so he turns away, sipping his scotch and watching in amusement as two kids who can’t be older than fourteen make out on the crowded dance floor. Ah, <em>young love</em> - so passionate and naive. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">When he finally looks away from them, he sees Lu walking towards him, a determined look on her face. He knows she only ever sways her hips like this when she’s drunk because she told him about it once, saying she liked to imagine she was on America’s Next Topmodel, trying to impress Tyra.<br/>
<br/>
He’s sufficiently buzzed himself, and welcomes her level of intoxication all the same. Maybe this will be like old times, he thinks, and cracks a grin the second she comes to stand before him. The hug he engulfs her in is a reflex, an out of body experience, and he’s not sure he ever wants to let go. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“Holy shit, you’re here,” he whispers in her ear, his arms still wrapped around her.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">When they pull apart, she looks conflicted, like she wants to talk, but isn’t in the right frame of mind for it.<br/>
<br/>
If she’s at a loss for words, so is he. He wants to tell her that he’s sorry for leaving last year, and apologize for the way he left. The fight they had that night, he still replays it in his head sometimes, wondering if he was fair to her. Mostly, though, he wants to tell her she looks fucking magnificent, make her understand no other woman on this planet even comes close. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Instead, Valerio smiles at her and swirls the scotch around in his glass. It’s too loud here. He wants to take her home. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">An upbeat reggaeton song comes on and Lu impulsively grabs his mostly empty glass, puts it down on a nearby table and grabs his hand, moving towards the dance floor.<br/>
<br/>
Okay, this he can do. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">It’s the best night of the year for him, by far, he thinks as he spins Lu around on the dance floor over and over again until they erupt into giggles. This, this is what he missed the most while he was gone. Having her around, breathing the same air, bringing out the unhinged, decidedly unpolished, fun side of her.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">She’s the one who finally calls them a cab, glancing over to the corner of the club where Guzmán is still talking to Polo, clearly incoherent at this point. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“I should go say goodbye,” she says, nodding in the general direction of (what he can only assume is) her boyfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He follows her eyes, calculating. There’s no way Guzmán will notice her leaving, or remember that he was here tomorrow at all so he shakes his head. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“No, you should come home with me.” </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">She rolls her eyes at him, but takes his hand anyway.<br/>
<br/>
In the back of the cab, they’re quiet, a difficult feat to accomplish considering their shared level of intoxication. It takes all but three minutes for Lu to undo her seatbelt, slide into the middle seat and put her head on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">She’s toying with his fingers, intertwining them on top of his thigh. “This is a bad idea.” </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Without fail, Lu likes to start fires and expects him to put them out. Without fail, she forgets he isn’t going to. Story of his fucking life.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">They get home, shushing each other on their way up the stairs the way they’ve done countless times when it’s the early hours of the morning and they’re trying to avoid a talking to from their father. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">It’s her who pulls him into her room without a second of hesitation. See what he means? Lu starts shit - it’s not his fault that he goes along with it and follows through.<br/>
<br/>
The lock clicks into place behind him and he’s turned the key in seconds, a move that feels all too familiar. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“Val,” she says, and it sounds both like a warning and an invitation. He loves her for both.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">His hand is on the zipper of her dress before she can lecture him about how they promised not to do this again, how he was the one crying, screaming at her to leave him the fuck alone just last summer. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“You know I was never very good with promises, Lu.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Relief floods his every pore when she turns around, undoes her zipper the rest of the way, and steps closer to him. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“I hate you,” she whispers as she brushes her nose against his, her voice broken and raw.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He moves his right hand to her cheek, grazing it lightly, while his other hand grabs her waist. “You’re a terrible liar,” he says, because she <em>is</em>, and he knows she loves this too - loves having him call her out. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">She pulls away slightly, her eyes suddenly laser focused, and looks straight at him. “This is the last time.” </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">It’s always the last time — always <em>never happening again</em>, always <em>just this once </em>and <em>let’s not do this anymore </em>with her. But Valerio can’t afford to be greedy, will take any affection she’s willing to throw his way like a starved wolf being thrown a piece of meat.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">So he nods solemnly, grabs her neck roughly and puts an end to any doubt left about whether this is really happening by capturing her lips with his.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">For the first time in fifteen months, Valerio feels alive.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">When he wakes up the next morning, having snuck back into his own bed earlier that day, he wonders if it’s self loathing that makes him keep coming back for more. Shrugging it off, he finds the weed he’d bought earlier in the week, rolls a joint and decides to take it easy today. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">After all, Sundays are for church and self care, and since he’d probably be burned to a crisp if he ever set foot in a church, self care seems like the better option.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">…</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Once upon a time, a little over a year ago, they would bicker and throw around insults uninhibited.<br/>
<br/>
They’d start off teasing, little remarks that soon turned into conversations that almost resembled honesty. Usually, he’d be the one to go too far, hitting her where he knew it would hurt most. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“Guzmán is never gonna love you like I do.”<br/>
<br/>
He remembers the look on her face like it was yesterday. The brief flash of hurt in her eyes before she regained her composure.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">She would get so mad whenever they did this. Her nose would get all scrunched up in that way he’d always found adorable and maybe she’d even slap him. Back then, she would have told him to shut up and he’d say make me, and then they’d have mindblowing, angry sex followed by Lu giving him the silent treatment for days. As if he made her do anything, as if she didn’t want this as much as he did.<br/>
<br/>
But that was then and this is now. Now, he watches Lu across the dinner table whispering sweet nothings to Guzmán and acts like he can’t tell their dynamic has shifted, pretends like Guzmán isn’t suddenly paying attention to Lu in all the ways he knows she’s always secretly craved. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Their father and Lu’s mother fawn over the couple, tell Guzmán they’re glad Lu has such a good man by her side, a perfect gentleman through and through, such a good match. Valerio chuckles over the brim of his wine glass and Lu fixes him with a small, subtle glare that shows she knows exactly what he’s thinking about.<br/>
<br/>
(If he looks closely, he can still see the mark he left on her neck last night, even through the several layers of foundation she tried to cover it with. He doesn’t look.)<br/>
<br/>
Valerio wonders if she’s gonna do this all year, show off her relationship in front of him at school, and shivers at the possibility.<br/>
<br/>
After dinner, she walks Guzmán to the door, and when she passes Valerio on the way back to her room, all she does is give him a look so smug, he can tell she’s impressed with herself. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He wants to follow her upstairs, wants to corner her in her room, shell out truths that he knows she doesn’t want to hear because they hurt. He hates himself for how competitive he gets with her and yet loves provoking her all the same.<br/>
<br/>
Instead, he finds his stash of weed and gets as high as he possibly can with his father right downstairs. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">This, he reminds himself, is what he chose. In a way, he had probably craved it. It’s what they do — her, always daring him to stoop to her level, to prove to her that he’s just as conniving and selfish as she is. Him, holding up a mirror to her actions, calling her out on her shit and yet never telling her to stop because he secretly loves when Lu schemes, loves when she gets bossy, loves that she’s a total badass who won’t ever back down from a fight.<br/>
<br/>
He takes a final drag from the spliff he’s holding, throws it out the window and lies back on his bed. Scrolling on his phone, he finds the instagram app and types in Guzmán’s name.<br/>
<br/>
If Lu is going to torture him by flaunting her boyfriend in his face, he might as well befriend the guy to piss her off. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">…</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">School is - well, it is what it is.<br/>
<br/>
His first day back at Las Encinas is, all in all, pretty okay.<br/>
<br/>
If he does more drugs than he normally would on a regular day of school, it’s mainly to piss off Lu. He enjoys her lectures, her eye rolls, the disappointed sigh as she walks away from him. Sometimes he wonders if this is secretly doing it for her too, having him live up to the stereotype of no-good drug addict older brother. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">The fact that she lets him drive her to school after seeing him snort two lines of coke? He thinks it’s fucking hilarious. She doesn’t appreciate the joke.<br/>
<br/>
“I seriously thought boarding school had changed you,” Lu tells him when they’re chatting in the car on their way to school. God, she’s the most patronizing person he knows. It’s infuriating and weirdly endearing at the same time because he knows she only does this with people she cares about. “But it’s made you even more ridiculous.” </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He feels like a petulant child, wants to tell her he actually did well at school last year, that he went to all of his classes and passed all of them with (somewhat) average results, but keeps his mouth shut. She doesn’t need to know that he’s acting out to spite her, or maybe to make being around her easier to bare. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">It’s when Guzman almost beats up one of the new kids, the ones Lu had introduced to him briefly as “the charity cases”, that he realizes something feels seriously off at school. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He deflects the way he usually does.<br/>
<br/>
“Isn’t there supposed to be a welcome party?”<br/>
</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He’s pretty sure the fact that Azucena remembers his name even though he only spent two months going to school here speaks volumes.<br/>
<br/>
Still, he texts his bouncer friend at the club, gets him to agree to give him a couple tables in VIP and sends the details to Lu, who promptly adds him to a WhatsApp group text, telling him to do his own promo work. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Of course he sees Guzmán downing drink after drink within minutes of arriving at the party, but what he really pays attention to his how Lu dotes on him, barely leaves his side all night. And while Valerio is still working out the details of his grand plan to befriend Guzmán, he recognizes an opportunity when he sees it.<br/>
<br/>
Guzmán takes off for the bathroom, Valerio following him at a leisurely pace to ensure he doesn’t seem creepy.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">It’s almost funny to see the younger boy so insistent that he doesn’t need drugs in his life. There are few self evident truths in the world of Valerio, but the fact that almost everyone could use drugs in their life every now and then is one of them. </span>
</p><p class="p3"><span class="s1">In the end, he’s all too easy to convince — Valerio almost feels bad about doing this to someone who just lost their sister, to a guy who seems like an alright dude if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s chosen the wrong person to date. Valerio smiles at him after he swallows the little blue pill. This has got to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. </span><br/>
<br/>
The rest of the night is a bit of a blur. A fun, random, exciting blur. He blames the molly.</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">He flirts with Rebeka a bit, mainly because it takes one look at the girl to realize Lu would rather die than be associated with her. It takes Lu literally thirty seconds to come over and give the new girl a talking to, and he knows he’s hit a nerve when she puts on that fake sweet voice and calls him her brother in passing. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">When Lu kisses Guzmán on the dance floor, he knows it’s payback, a warning of sorts. She’s petty like that. He makes out with Rebeka to spite her, only pulling away when he feels Lu’s hand very sharply grabbing his own. She’s disappeared back into the crowd before he even gets the chance to turn around and scold her, but he knows it was her, can feel her eyes burning holes in the back of his head. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">When they finally all go their separate ways later that night, he finds himself smiling as he sees Lu kiss Guzmán goodnight. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">No amount of drugs in the world can make him feel the way he does knowing he gets to take her home.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">..</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">They’re lying on the pool table in their father’s study, having giggled their way up there minutes earlier, when Lu ups the ante. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">The kiss is careful, he’s trying to feel the room on this, and he’s about to deepen it when he feels her hand on his face, pushing him away. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“We said this would never happen again,” her voice is honest and raw, and he wants to fight her. Wants to tell her she said that, not him, never him, because he wouldn’t dream of giving her up for any money or drugs or promise of happiness in the world. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Briefly, he wonders if this is another part of the game they play for her. The part where she pretends she wants to repent, wants to stop indulging in such illustrious affairs. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">“I’m your sister, Valerio.” </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">She’s gone before he can respond, trying to process the bold claim. She has never, not once, called herself his sister when it was just the two of them, has only ever alluded to it when they were joking around, or trying to appease other people. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">In hindsight, if he had to pinpoint it, he’d say this is the beginning of the end.</span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">…</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s1">tbc</span> </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>find me on <a href="http://cupcakesarebetter.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Many thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/juxtaposedmusings/pseuds/juxtaposedmusings">juxtaposedmusings</a> for the beta-ing slash emotional support on this as I continue to explore this tortured, doomed pairing in such trying times.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> "And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I tried to find the sound </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> So darkness I became" </em>
</p><p>- Florence Welch, Cosmic Love</p><p> </p><p>He makes it through the first week of school mostly unscathed. No, he doesn’t care about formal education, but yes, long days of class are significantly more fun when you can at least sort of follow the conversation.</p><p>Lu is busy obsessing over the new girl in class and Valerio is busy obsessing over Lu. Their little late night encounter the other week has inspired him — if she wants to prove she can stay away from him, he’s gonna make that as hard as possible for her. </p><p>He starts going for early morning swims, making sure to lounge around shirtless after and he notices her glancing at him more than once.</p><p>“Do I still make you nervous?” He prompts when she pushes him in the pool, and the way she stalks off makes him think the answer is yes. </p><p>If Lu is feeling any sort of remorse for pushing him away, she doesn’t let it show. Instead, they bicker like they always have, pushing each other’s buttons, an easy back and forth. He absolutely loves it. </p><p>They’re in class when he spots the new girl for the first time. Cayetana is the complete opposite of his type - blonde, kind of meek, lacking any distinct personality, but he lives for the way Lu reacts to him showing an interest in her.</p><p>“She’s all yours,” she scoffs, and he knows her eyes are on him when he crosses the room and approaches her in front of the whole class.</p><p>Truth is, he doesn’t even <em> try </em> to impress the girl. He uses a terrible line about how fucking a feminist is always better, and when she smiles and agrees, he knows straight away that Lu is right, that the girl’s a total poser. </p><p>His new habit of following Guzmán into bathrooms is working out for him as well - it’s a good day to be a scheming son of a bitch. He can tell the younger boy trusts him, if only to deliver on his promises of a good time, and he feels a little bad about it. </p><p>He still crashes their little girls’ get-together with a tipsy and slightly coked-up Guzmán slung over his shoulder, gives Cayetana a flirty little smile when he knows Lu is looking and thanks her for inviting them. He can practically see the wheels turning in Lu’s head, trying to figure out when he spoke to her about coming, if they’re texting, if she needs to be worried about this. </p><p>He kisses Cayetana because he knows Lu is watching and enjoys feeding her insecurities just a little bit. </p><p>(He doesn’t tell her she has nothing to worry about until later, when he gets her alone at the pool for just long enough to revel in her jealousy and reassure her all the same. </p><p>“Nobody can outshine you,” he says, and he thinks he sees her indignant face change for a second, sees the facade crack when a tiny smile forms on her lips. </p><p>He wants to kiss her so badly, he has to force himself to go over and manhandle Guzmán instead.) </p><p>…</p><p>He’s not as stupid as he looks, alright? He’s perceptive. The weird tension between virtually everyone in their class immediately strikes him as odd. Lu had briefly filled him in on the murderous shenanigans he missed last semester, but even that mess does not explain why Guzmán and Nadia look awfully close when he spots them at the pool. Valerio is no fool — he knows flirting when he sees it. </p><p>As he’s sitting in class one day, watching the two of them exchange brief glances, he comes up with a plan. Chuckling, he wonders if Lu deliberately ‘forgot' to mention that Nadia is clearly into Guzmán. If he didn’t think she’d slap him, he’d get her drunk and ask her about it. </p><p>Guzmán being interested in someone else comes in handy for Valerio, whose sole plan in life is to piss off Lu and make sure she realizes she can do better than him. (Valerio doesn’t love the concept of sharing, though he tries not to come off as territorial. It’s never been an issue until, well, Lu.)</p><p>Money can’t buy happiness, but it can absolutely buy him Nadia’s tutoring expertise. And if that means he can spend more time with her, push her on the whole Guzmán issue, and maybe show Lu her boyfriend is a dick? Just an added bonus. </p><p>At their very first study session, he gets straight to the point — plants some seeds of doubt about Guzmán’s relationship with Lu, and even though Nadia changes the subject immediately, he can tell she’s thinking about what he said. </p><p>…</p><p>He drops by Lu’s room as she’s getting ready for the party, conveniently leaving Nadia and Guzmán alone, and finds her staring at herself in the mirror, her red dress clinging to her in all the right places.</p><p>Deciding to be a pain, he walks over and stands behind her.</p><p>“Do you like the dress?” She asks, and he can tell it’s a genuine question by the way she furrows her brow.</p><p>"Well," he tells her, then kisses right next to her ear and slides his hand around to rest on her hip, "I've never seen you in anything I didn't immediately want to get you out of, so. You know.”</p><p>The horrible line is worth it, if only for the brief second where he feels her lean back against him, her body betraying her mind. </p><p>“Ugh,” she scoffs, turning around an instant later and pushing him towards the door. He winks at her as she closes it in his face.</p><p>Getting Nadia to come along to the party? It may not have been his idea, but it’s still the best outcome he could’ve hoped for. </p><p>With Guzmán sufficiently distracted for now, Valerio gets to work. </p><p>He tries not to hover around Lu too much, giving her time to pick a fight with Carla and glare at Guzmán across the room. He talks to a few people, dances a little but mostly keeps an eye on Lu. The fact that she drinks at least half a bottle of champagne by herself isn’t lost on him. He loses track of her for a while, goes to find Guzmán, offers him some more drugs. All in all, it’s a pretty decent evening for him.</p><p>As Valerio comes back from the bathroom, wiping his nose to hide any residual coke, he spots Lu at the bar. Sitting down a few stools away from her, he decides to wait for her to come to him. She looks to be in a terrible mood — he’s hell-bent on fixing that for her. </p><p>She spots him, slides down the barstools until she’s next to him. She smells like gin, and there’s a stain on the front of her dress. “Are you happy now?” He follows her eyes to the dance floor, where Guzman is engaged in a heated debate with Nadia.</p><p>He chuckles, flashing her his signature grin. “You know I’m always the happiest person in the room.” </p><p>“This isn’t a game, Valerio,” she rolls her eyes and orders two shots of tequila, wordlessly handing one to him. They don’t look at each other as they throw back the liquor, and he orders another round before either of them stop feeling the characteristic burn of tequila down their throat. </p><p>Lu makes eye contact with him, lifts the shot glass to her mouth, and looks at him expectantly until he mirrors her. </p><p>It’s his idea to order beers, mainly to see the look of utter disgust on Lu’s face. “What,” he queries, grinning at her. “Not good enough for you?” </p><p>She nods a bit, sips her beer. “I wouldn’t call any part of this ‘<em>good’ </em>.”</p><p>They sit there for a bit, talking about nothing in particular, and he swears Lu actually cracks a smile when he points out she’s starting to like the beer she’s drinking. (From the bottle, might he add, which is way hotter than it has any right to be.)</p><p>“Are you done with that?” She asks a minute later, pointing to his own bottle, and he shrugs. </p><p>“I can be.” </p><p>She gets up and reaches for his hand, which he lets her take. </p><p>“Good.”</p><p>For a moment, he thinks she’s planning on taking him dancing, but instead she walks past the dance floor, takes a sharp left past a door that says “staff only” in bold letters. She clearly doesn’t care. There’s a reckless twinkle in her eye.</p><p>Before he gets a word in, she’s crowded him against the door in the dimly lit hallway, her face inches from his. Sometimes he can barely keep up with her impulses.</p><p>“Lu,” he warns, unsure of what exactly she’s trying to do here. He’s all for being alone with her, would love nothing more than to take his time exploring her exhibitionist streak, but he’s also not insane. Their classmates are an unlocked door away; hell, her boyfriend is just around the corner.</p><p>She shakes her head as if to tell him to shut up. (He does)</p><p>As she’s looking at him, she slides her hand up his shoulder and leans up to kiss him, instantly opening her mouth for him. </p><p>Her hand ends up on his neck, the tips of her fingers gliding over his skin and down to grab onto the collar of his shirt. </p><p>He breathes out, "Fuck," when their foreheads are pressed together, and she sort of smiles up at him, pecks his lips one last time, and then runs her index finger beneath her bottom lip to tidy up her red lipstick. He watches that, too.</p><p>He’s about to suggest they get out of here when the door to the hallway opens and Cayetana pops her head inside. The way they jump away from the door and apart is easy, practiced, and the blonde clearly doesn’t suspect a thing. Instead she looks back and forth between the two of them and settles on Lu, putting a hand on her arm. </p><p>“Everything okay? I saw you disappear and thought you might be feeling sick.”</p><p>Valerio wants to roll his eyes. The girl is obviously trying to get Lu to like her, even if it means being obnoxious and doting on her like a concerned mother. </p><p>Lu slips on her fake, polite smile without breaking a sweat. Sometimes he wonders if she was destined to be an actress, in another life. </p><p>“Nothing to worry about, darling, just having a quick little family meeting with this one,” she gives him a pointed look, and he turns to smile at Cayetana. “Let’s go back out there, alright?”´</p><p>The girls close the door behind them, and he’s left leaning against the wall, dumbfounded.</p><p><em> What the fuck just happened? </em>He couldn’t tell you if he tried.</p><p>He doesn’t risk going near Lu again, not when she’s clearly acting out, deciding to stay away from her until it’s time to go home.</p><p>Later, when he sees Lu talking to Cayetana outside of the club and goes over to lead her to the car he’s already ordered, he puts his coat around her and marvels at how domestic this all feels. He briefly wonders if the driver thinks she’s his girlfriend.</p><p>Lu takes off her heels the second they get in the car, puts her feet in his lap, and dozes off. He tries not to wake her as he picks her up and leaves the car, thanking the driver in a hushed whisper when he holds Lu’s shoes out to him. </p><p>She stirs as he carries her inside, and he laughs quietly. She’s pretending. </p><p>When they get upstairs, he deposits her on her bed softly and takes a step back, pretending he’s left. As she carefully opens one of her eyes to glance around, he chuckles and lets himself fall back on the bed, making her entire body jump in the process.</p><p>She shrieks, instantly rolls over onto her side, and playfully hits him.</p><p>“You scared me,” she whispers, a smile on her face and he rolls his eyes, pulls her closer. </p><p>“You scared me earlier too, you know,” he tries, figures maybe they can talk, maybe she’ll tell him what the hell made her do that. It’s two in the morning, so all bets are off.</p><p>She doesn’t bite. Instead, she gets up, walks over to her closet as she unzips her dress and finds a plain black t-shirt to put on instead. He stays on her bed, watching her intently, somehow both excited and apprehensive of her next move. </p><p>Lu strides over to her bedroom door, and he thinks she’s gonna lock it but instead she just flips off the light. Engulfed in darkness, she crawls back into bed with him and slips under the covers. </p><p>He sighs. Bad idea, bad idea, <em> bad idea </em>. He repeats the mantra in his head over and over again. Before she even asks, he knows he won’t deny her.</p><p>“Val,” her voice comes out deep and sleepy. “Will you stay?”</p><p>Too tired to fight her, he quickly strips off his shirt and pants, moving under the covers with her.  </p><p>He knows she’s half asleep already, but he still reaches over and takes her hand in his, tugging her towards his side of the bed. (He hates that he’s spent enough time in this bed to think of it as his)</p><p>She gives a contented sigh as her head falls onto his chest, her arm landing on his stomach.</p><p>He doesn’t get an explanation for her sudden need to be near him, but he does get to hold her all night — he calls that a win, in his book.</p><p>…</p><p>They’ve got school in an hour and he spent last night in her bed, that’s his first thought when he wakes up and checks the time on his phone. But yeah, waking up with her is pretty fucking fantastic. It also scares him half to death when he first wakes up with her hair in his face and realizes they fell asleep like this, until he remembers that Lu is careful and calculating (even when acting completely irrational) and their father is on a business trip.</p><p>Valerio can’t sleep in, not since he first started doing coke years ago, and chooses to watch her sleep instead. </p><p>She’s still fast asleep, so he turns off his alarm and decides they can afford to miss a few hours of class worst case. They need a break from all of that anyway.</p><p>Lu wakes up angry and disoriented minutes later. He watches her go from peaceful, clingy sleeper to, well, herself in phases.</p><p>First, she stirs in his arms, burrowing closer to him. He feels her slowly coming to, stretching her legs and arms, and then she forcefully ducks out of his embrace, sitting up in bed instead. He’s left on his side, head propped up by his arm, a smile playing on his lips as he looks up at her. </p><p>“Sleep well, princess?” He can’t help but notice her stomach on display where her shirt has ridden up. She grabs her phone, gives him an answer in the form of a glare and a tightlipped smile, and turns away. </p><p>“Motherfucker,” she mutters under her breath, locking her phone again and getting up at the same time. “He didn’t even text me to apologize.” </p><p>She disappears into her closet, coming out seconds later with a regulation length skirt in her hand and her blouse buttoned up halfway. He takes her in shamelessly, and once again wonders why schoolgirl porn isn’t more popular. He’s certainly always appreciated a girl in uniform.</p><p>He knows she’s talking about Guzmán right away and decides to attribute yesterday’s sneak attack to reckless abandon and anger at her boyfriend. </p><p>“You did leave him alone at a party to sleep with me,” he provokes, reveling in the way she scoffs and rolls her eyes at him. He’s still in bed, watching her get dressed. </p><p>“I left the party because I was tired, Valerio.” </p><p>She does up the buttons on her blouse expertly, stepping into her skirt next.</p><p>“Now get ready, we’re leaving in five minutes. I’m not gonna let you ruin my perfect attendance record.”</p><p>He gets up, and walks to his room, stopping to tug on her hair on his way out. </p><p>“Your wish is my command,” he gives her a mock salute and knows she flips him off without even looking back at her. </p><p>Over in his room, he texts Guzmán to ask about last night, opting for a few drug emojis and gets a joking reply instantly. He doesn’t rub it in Lu’s face, not yet, but knowing that he could gives him the natural high he needed to kickstart his day.</p><p>When he walks downstairs to meet her at the car a few minutes later, she impatiently taps her heels and rolls her eyes at him when she sees him staring.</p><p>She grabs him by the tie, which he loosely fastened himself, undoing it and tying it again, properly this time.</p><p>“There,” she turns around and gets in the passenger seat. “Let’s go.”</p><p>They make it to school two minutes before the first bell, and if he smirks at Guzmán when the boy walks in and finds his usual seat next to Lu already occupied by Valerio, it’s because he wants what’s best for Lu. </p><p>…</p><p>They don’t talk about it. <em> Never have, never will</em>, he thinks sometimes. </p><p>Before, when they used to do this, they were both single, had no attachments. Now she’s not, and while he couldn’t care less about Guzmán’s feelings, he can feel her hesitate sometimes, wondering if she’s living up to her own idea of what being the Perfect Girlfriend™ entails.</p><p>If he didn’t think it would make her slap him, he’d tell her he’s sure Guzmán would cheat on her without even a hint of hesitation if Nadia decided to spread her legs for him. He’s not cruel, per se, but he strives for honesty.</p><p>Every now and then, when Valerio gets a little too high, he likes to imagine what Guzmán might do if he knew, wonders whether he would try to fight him, struggling to get a good punch in the way he did with Samuel on their first day of school.</p><p>Most of the time, he thinks she's a hell of a lot more worried about being seen with him than he is about being seen with her. It kinda sucks, sometimes. </p><p>…</p><p>They don’t talk about this, either.</p><p>About how he hears her sometimes, late at night or early in the morning, head bent over the toilet bowl, puking her guts out in the bathroom they share. </p><p>It’s not a daily occurrence, so he figures it’s fine — if he gets drugs, she can have this. </p><p>Healthy coping mechanisms are a foreign concept to them anyway, and with things already fucked up beyond repair, adding one more item to the list of things they should probably both stop doing seems manageable. </p><p>…</p><p>He hears Lu talking to Guzmán about making up in class a few days later, and tries not to let his anger show. </p><p>He doesn’t like to scheme, doesn’t enjoy meddling in other people’s lives, but this is different. This is about protecting Lu. He needs to make sure this reunion of theirs does not happen.</p><p>There’s a party happening tonight, and he was planning on taking Lu. With her no longer coming along solo, he wonders if there’s any point in going at all.</p><p>So he devises a plan.</p><p>“I’ve seen how you devour each other with your eyes,” he tells Nadia in the library as they wrap up their tutoring session, which isn’t technically a lie. He’s grown fond of the girl, likes how she tells it like it is and how surprisingly non-judgmental she’d been about every aspect of his… lifestyle choices. Her chemistry with Guzmán is undeniable; he sees no reason for them to stay away from one another.</p><p>The girl rolls her eyes, and he wonders if she thinks he just enjoys messing with his sister.</p><p>“Come to the party tonight,” is all he says, and he knows he’s hit a nerve when she stays behind after he leaves, stares at nothing in particular, and considers his words.</p><p>He stays at the party long enough to see Guzmán arrive, waits for Nadia to gravitate towards him, and takes off, barely tipsy and before the clock even strikes ten. </p><p>Lu was supposed to be having dinner with Guzmán, he overheard her talking to him on the phone about it earlier, so her missing the party seems like solid proof Valerio will find her at home instead.</p><p>When he gets home, Lu’s door is open but her light is off. He goes to check the pool, doesn’t find her there either, and considers calling. He settles on texting her instead.</p><p><b>22:13: </b> <em> where are you? </em></p><p>She leaves him on read. He’d be worried, except she’s clearly still able to check her phone, so he tries to give her space. Kind of.</p><p><b>22:47:</b> <em>text 1 for kidnapped, 2 for dead in a ditch</em></p><p>She sends back the number three, followed by the bourbon emoji, and doesn’t offer up any other explanation.</p><p>He wonders what she has to hide. (He hopes he gets to find out.)</p><p>..</p><p>It’s after midnight when Lu quite literally storms into his room, locks the door behind herself, and sits down next to him on his bed before he can even process what’s happening. </p><p>He looks up from the book he (definitely wasn’t) was reading and gives her a questioning look. </p><p>She doesn’t answer, just straddles him, takes the book out of his hands and leans in to kiss him. She’s been crying, he thinks, sees her smudged mascara just before he closes his eyes and kisses her back. </p><p>She tastes bittersweet and sharp, like whiskey. Smells like it, too, and he knows he should stop her because she's not sober enough to make this decision, even if she was the one who started it.</p><p>Of course, the one night of the week he decides to stay mostly sober, she gets clingy drunk and does this. </p><p>He considers pushing her away, considers doing to her what she’d done to him back in their dad’s study, but decides this isn’t the time. Lu clearly needs this, and Valerio very selflessly decides to let her use him. </p><p>His hand is in her hair, ruining the ponytail it’s in, but she doesn’t seem to mind, moaning into his mouth when he pulls on it, hard. </p><p>He loves being in control for once. </p><p>Pulling back just slightly, he watches as she chases his mouth with her own, a frustrated frown forming when she realizes he’s pulled away. </p><p>“Val,” she murmurs, trying to grab his neck and pull him closer again. He chuckles, amused. It’s cute when she forgets he’s stronger and bigger than her. She makes a frustrated noise when he doesn’t budge, doesn’t lean in again. </p><p>“Val, please,” her eyes stare intently at him, and for a second he feels guilty. Wonders if he’s using her the same way she decided to do when she stormed in here and threw herself at him. </p><p>Still, he’s not gonna make her ask for a third time. If she says his name like that again, he might actually end up hugging and comforting her as she cries, and that’s not what this is — he can tell it’s not what she needs right now. </p><p>She came here looking for a distraction, and Valerio is nothing but a gentleman when it comes to living up to expectations. </p><p>He grabs her arm and tugs her closer until she collapses onto his chest, using one hand to hold on to her while he flips them over, crowding her against the abundance of pillows on his bed. </p><p>Lu giggles in surprise, the sadness in her eyes fading just a tad, and already he thinks doing this was worth it if it makes her feel better. </p><p>She breathes his name out and he swears he's going to die right here.</p><p>Later, after he’s carried her back to her room wearing nothing but one of his old band t-shirts (it was a phase, okay?), he feels dirty. </p><p>As Lu sleeps soundly next door, he stares up at the ceiling for hours, questioning himself. He wants to feel content, wants to revel in Lu coming to him for emotional support, even if that support looks a lot like using him as a distraction. </p><p>When he spots her coming downstairs for breakfast in the morning, still wearing his shirt and a tiny pair of cotton shorts, she gives him a grateful smile. </p><p>It’s almost worth it. </p><p>Then, when she walks past where he’s sitting at the kitchen counter and squeezes his shoulder in passing, he feels forgiven for something she wasn’t even holding against him. </p><p>Feelings are a fucking bitch. Valerio elects not to pay them any mind from here on out. </p><p>…</p><p>Before he knows it, it’s the end of October.</p><p>They’ve settled into a routine, of sorts, and he’s almost okay with it.</p><p>Lu runs hot and cold, mostly cold unless she happens to be in the mood to mess with him or is in a fight with her boyfriend.</p><p>Valerio has stopped caring too much about knowing what to expect, will take whatever he can get from her. It’s not a lot. A few glances here and there, a stolen moment when they run into each other at the bar at a few parties, and very rarely, aggressive, hungry kisses in her room. </p><p>She doesn’t acknowledge it even once, always shushes him, scolds him when he makes a joke that hits too close to home.</p><p>He goes to school, studies with Nadia, passes a few more exams than he otherwise would. Considering his level of drug use and the amount of time he otherwise invests in trying to piss off Lu, he calls that a win. </p><p>Lu barely talks to him about anything substantial, never mentions what’s bothering her when she comes knocking on his door at night. Once or twice, she’ll change her mind a few minutes in, freezing up completely in his arms and getting up to leave before he can even ask her what the fuck is going on. </p><p>The new normal they’ve found? It kills him a little more every day. Kills him in ways he never knew existed. </p><p>(But if the alternative is not having her in his life at all, he’ll gladly do this until the day he dies a sudden, premature death.) </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You can still find me on <a href="http://cupcakesarebetter.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> - drop in for a chat, prompts, whatever!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“Memory blurs, that's the point. If memory didn't blur, you wouldn't have the fool's courage to do things again, again, again that tear you apart.”</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Joyce Carol Oates</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lucrecia gets absolutely blackout drunk, alone, at a skeevy bar, and he wants to kill her for how irresponsible she’s being. Imagine that — <em>him</em>, of all people, lecturing someone on reckless behavior.<br/>
<br/>
His phone starts buzzing and he considers not even bothering to find it on his bed, instead finishing this French indie film he’s quite engrossed in, but he doesn’t know who’d be calling him this close to midnight on a random Thursday, and he’s at least a little intrigued.<br/>
<br/>
When he shakes his phone out of the duvet and sees her name, he answers immediately.<br/>
<br/>
“Hi,” she breathes out, and he can hear drunk people screaming in the background. “Hey. Um… Can you pick me up?”<br/>
<br/>
He thanks his lucky stars he’s sober enough to drive. Telling her to text him the address, he plugs it into Google Maps as he grabs his keys and jacket. Google says it’ll take him fifteen minutes; he makes it in ten.<br/>
<br/>
She’s standing outside when he pulls up. She’s alone, looks like she’s shivering a bit, and the bouncer at this bar seems to be keeping an eye on her, in a good way. He catches Valerio's eye, just nods once, and Lu makes her way over and gets in the car. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She could’ve called a cab. But then he thinks about how this isn’t the best part of town, and she looks fucking amazing even at her worst, and suddenly he’s glad she somehow had the common sense to call him instead.<br/>
<br/>
They stay silent for most of the drive until he can’t keep quiet anymore. Hitting the breaks, he pulls over on the side of the empty road and stares at her. She looks younger like this, her eyes glassed over with intoxication and confusion, sadder somehow, too.<br/>
<br/>
“Okay, Lu, what the fuck?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Because yeah, he would kind of like to know what the fuck she was thinking when she decided to go out by herself tonight, and if she could tell him <em>why</em> she did it, that would be even better.<br/>
<br/>
She sighs, looks like she feels guilty, then defensive. “I had a really fucking terrible day, alright?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t want to feel too good about this. Being the last resort when she’s stranded and sad isn’t anything to be flattered by. (Still, it does something funny to his stomach to know she’s relying on him, to be the person she calls in these situations. He hates himself for it.)<br/>
<br/>
“So you went to the shittiest part of town, and got shitfaced dressed like <em>that</em>,” he motions to her school uniform and knows for a fact she must’ve had that skirt shortened because there’s no way it’s regulation length. He isn't about to slut-shame her for the outfit, but he's a guy and he knows how men act when they see this much skin. “By yourself? Really?”<br/>
<br/>
She rolls her eyes and doesn’t quite meet his when she looks up. “Maybe I wasn’t alone.”<br/>
<br/>
Of course, he knows she’s bluffing, trying to get to him, but he still needs to hear it from her. “Don’t bullshit me.”<br/>
<br/>
She scoffs, all spiteful, and he knows he’s right.<br/>
<br/>
“And you couldn’t have just stuck to drinking in your room, like a normal fucking person?” The anger in his voice is hard to hide, and he knows it’s only going to make her more defensive.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you seriously lecturing me on irresponsible behavior right now? You literally have at least two different drugs in your bloodstream at all times!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He takes a deep breath and thinks about telling her he’s tired of this shit. If she’s struggling with something, whether that’s her terrible, flakey boyfriend or whatever other shit going on in her life, she can do that without permanently making him feel like he’s a part of it. But then he sees the look on her face, the sadness behind the angry front she wears so well, and can’t bring himself to.<br/>
<br/>
“Whatever,” he mutters, pulling back out onto the road. “If dad sees us sneak in, this one’s on you.”<br/>
<br/>
He doesn’t, of course. As they reach their respective bedroom doors, Lu pauses to give him a look he knows all too well. He’s not in the mood for her games, tired of her needing liquid courage to invite him inside.<br/>
<br/>
“Not tonight,” is all he says, and leaves her standing there.<br/>
<br/>
He feels a sick sense of satisfaction when he hears her scoff and slam the door behind her.<br/>
<br/>
…<br/>
</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next morning, at breakfast, their father looks at Valerio over his cup of coffee and sighs. “I heard you come home last night,” he scolds, checking the time on his watch. Valerio wants to laugh at the contrast — even when he tries to parent, he’s always doing it on a tight schedule. “You’re grounded. What makes you think it’s okay to come home that late on a school night?”<br/>
<br/>
Valerio doesn’t try to fight him, and sees no point in dragging Lu into this even though she was the reason he went out in the first place. Chances are, their dad would blame him even if he did mention it was Lu’s fault — the man loves pulling the <em>‘your little sister is your responsibility’</em>-card. He shrugs, accepts his punishment and goes about his morning.<br/>
<br/>
Later, when they’re in the car on the way to school, Lu glances at him and sighs.<br/>
<br/>
“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him,” she says, and he knows she will. Knows she’ll probably get her way, too, because she’s the favorite; she’s the one their father actually likes and respects.<br/>
<br/>
Sometimes he resents her for it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the afternoon, he’s at the pool, just sort of biding his time and enjoying the quiet when she walks in, already halfway dressed for the Halloween party he’s planning on sneaking out for later.<br/>
<br/>
“Val,” she says, and he still can’t get used to her saying his name like that. He likes it way too fucking much. “I talked to dad — he agreed not to ground you anymore.”<br/>
<br/>
She’s smug about getting her way, so he figures he can try to get her to crack just a bit. Standing right in front of her, he drops his robe and dives in the pool, completely naked. He doesn’t need to watch her face to know she’s looking.<br/>
<br/>
“You love doing that, don’t you?” He grins unabashedly, shakes the water out of his hair and wades over to the edge of the pool near where she’s sitting.<br/>
<br/>
“You’re amazing,” he says and doesn’t meet her eyes because it’s a little too honest, even for him.<br/>
<br/>
“And here I thought I was a hypocrite, like the rest of the family,” she counters.<br/>
<br/>
“You are,” he nods, contemplative. “For denying yourself something that makes you happy.”<br/>
<br/>
He really wishes they weren’t both sober. This is the most honest conversation he’s had with her in weeks. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Lu rolls her eyes like she was bracing for him to say that. “Guzmán makes me happy, Valerio.”<br/>
<br/>
Bullshit, he thinks, knows for a fact that she’s spent more nights alone, drunk or with him — or a combination of the three — than with her boyfriend of late.<br/>
<br/>
“He’s being distant, and you’re in denial,” he says without a hint of malice — wants to get through to her, though he knows the effort is futile. Still, she hasn’t angrily walked away from him yet so he figures he’s getting to her on some level.<br/>
<br/>
She goes on and on about how that’s how couples work, that there's ups and downs and when she tells him he wouldn’t know because he’s never been in a relationship he wants to laugh in her face. He has to deal with <em>her</em> on a daily basis, so he knows all about dysfunctional relationships.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s completely normal!” She’s getting agitated now, clearly affected by his words.<br/>
<br/>
“Normal?” She nods. The look he gives her is incredulous. “And who wants that?”<br/>
<br/>
He pulls himself up by the side of the pool, gets all up in her face, and sees her lips flick to his briefly before she makes eye contact.<br/>
<br/>
“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary,” he quotes, shaking his wet hair out in her face to emphasize the statement and smirks at her when she scrunches up her nose.<br/>
<br/>
Nobody pulls off arrogant-yet-charming quite like Lu. He watches her walk off and feels a sense of excitement building in his stomach; tonight’s Halloween party is gonna be interesting if Lu is in the mood to play.<br/>
<br/>
…<br/>
<br/>
When it comes to costumes, Valerio likes to go all out. The second he hears about the party at Rebeka’s, he knows exactly what costume he’s gonna go for. Years ago, when he was home from boarding school for Christmas break, Lu made him watch Interview with the Vampire a million times. She would go on and on about Lestat and Louis, about how epic the story was, and how Brad Pitt was gonna be her husband one day. Valerio always preferred Lestat, mainly because he liked the comic relief he brought to the table. Replace the rat blood with cocaine, and he thinks they’re pretty alike.<br/>
<br/>
</span> <span class="s1">Plus, it doesn’t hurt that Lestat is devilishly handsome, a trait he knows they share. Reminding people (Lu) of that is never a bad idea.<br/>
<br/>
He gets to the party early enough to just sit back in a corner and people watch a bit — there’s nothing more enjoyable than watching complete strangers in costumes awkwardly converse before the alcohol kicks in.<br/>
<br/>
A while later, he sees Lu across the room, staring down at her phone in frustration. He’s lost count of the current state of the doomed romance that is Lu and Guzmán, but assumes her being alone on the dance floor means they’re more off than on. Her costume is, of course, absolutely perfect. Frida Kahlo meets ghost hellscape suits her perfectly.<br/>
<br/>
If the amount of people he’s seen doing drugs at this party so far is any indication, it’s gonna be a wild ride. He’s reminded of his own unfortunate sobriety when he sees some kid just do a line of coke off somebody’s stomach in the middle of the room, so he figures he better go find a bathroom to indulge.<br/>
<br/>
As he walks down the hall, towards where he assumes the bathroom will be, he hears a door slam shut. Before he knows what’s happening, Lu is breezing past him, wiping tears off her cheek. Their eyes meet, but she’s gone before he can ask her what the hell is going on.<br/>
<br/>
Valerio keeps walking, intrigued. He opens the door Lu came out of and isn’t particularly surprised to find Guzmán standing at the bathroom sink, looking both frustrated and relieved.<br/>
<br/>
He clears his throat and smiles when they make eye contact. “Trouble in paradise?”<br/>
<br/>
All Guzmán does is shake his head. “You have no idea.”<br/>
<br/>
Valerio laughs, gets out his little vial of coke, and prepares a line for himself on the window sill. (He doesn’t offer Guzmán any, because as far as he’s concerned he has no use for their friendship, not if he's no longer with Lu.)<br/>
<br/>
“What did you do now?” He asks, going for a casual tone when in reality he’s dying to find out.<br/>
<br/>
“Why do you think I did anything?” Guzmán scoffs. Valerio doesn’t budge, he just does the line of coke and gives him a look as he wipes his nose. “Okay, fine. I slept with Nadia.”<br/>
<br/>
Valerio isn’t <em>just</em> a selfish asshole, alright? So while Guzmán cheating on Lu may come in very handy for him, and while he may have played a small part in pushing Nadia to go for it, he’s still pissed on Lu's behalf. He’s allowed.<br/>
<br/>
He takes a step closer to Guzmán and pats him on the shoulder. “Wow, you’re an even worse boyfriend than I thought.”<br/>
<br/>
“Your sister is fucking insane, alright? I’ve been trying to break up with her all week because I felt guilty, but she just kept brushing me off,” the boy mutters under his breath, and Valerio takes this as his cue to leave. If Guzmán is gonna shit-talk Lu, he doesn’t want to hear it — otherwise, he might end up throwing a punch or two.<br/>
<br/>
“Well, congrats on your heroic act of the night,” he says, stepping away from Guzmán and walking towards the door. He pauses and looks back at him. “Oh, and I love the costume! Entitled serial cheater playing the victim is a great look on you!”<br/>
<br/>
With that, he walks out and closes the door with a thud. Energized by the exchange, and the coke, he walks back towards the blaring electronic music and grabs a drink.<br/>
<br/>
The decorations at this party leave a lot to be desired, but he makes do with what he can find. When he spots the merry-go-round horse attached to the ceiling, he thinks it’s too good of an opportunity to pass up and climbs up.<br/>
<br/>
If nothing else, it gives him a perfect vantage point from which to watch Lu doing shot after shot by herself. He feels sorry for her, but then remembers he’s warned her about Guzmán’s lack of interest in her more times than he can count in the past two months — this one’s on her.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She spots him up there at some point, not even surprised to see him, just shakes her head laughing. He raises his glass in a silent toast, and she rolls her eyes as she raises a shot glass to her lips.<br/>
<br/>
He takes her in again — impeccably dressed to embody a gothic Frida Kahlo, her makeup meticulous, her hair done up in a perfect braided flower crown. It’s tough because the more put together she looks, the more he wants to see her fall apart.<br/>
<br/>
<em>Yeah</em>, he thinks bitterly, Lestat and he have a lot in common.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…<br/>
<br/>
One of Valerio’s key talents in life is judging just how intoxicated people are by having a simple conversation with them. When Lu drags Omar over and tries to have a shouting conversation with him while he’s up on the horse, he knows she’s drunk because she’s clinging to Omar like she’s going for a world record in hugging. If he had to put a number on it, he’d say she’s a solid five out of ten on the drunkenness scale.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She asks him to get Omar a job at the club and he smiles. He has no idea if he actually has enough connections there to make it happen, but figures he’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.<br/>
<br/>
And of course, he recognizes an opportunity to get Lu alone and takes it. “I’ll think about it,” he muses and pauses long enough to dramatically slide down the pole attached to the horse. “On one condition.”<br/>
<br/>
Lu looks at him knowingly, a reserved look on her face. “What?”<br/>
<br/>
“Just follow me,” He smirks. His vampire teeth are on full display and he hopes he looks badass. Grabbing her hand, he twirls her around and drags her away from Omar. “You’ll find out.”<br/>
<br/>
As they dance in the next room over, he can’t help but let his eyes linger on the fullness of her lips, on the way she can’t quite seem to look away from his own, like she wants him to kiss her.<br/>
<br/>
“I thought you were the guy from Guns N’ Roses.”<br/>
<br/>
She’s kidding, of course. He knows for a fact that she’s seen his vampire teeth, and would recognize the blond curls paired with the elegant 19th century get up anywhere. But he knows she’s having a shitty night, so he goes along with her joke, makes a show out of recounting his decadent vampire rockstar backstory.<br/>
<br/>
If he’s being honest, he’d like to take her home now. The typical back and forth they like to engage in is getting tedious, especially when he knows that it will take hours for them to reach the right level of shared intoxication. She’s clearly miserable, and at least tipsy, but he knows she won’t want to talk about it.<br/>
<br/>
Still, he can’t help but twirl her around, pull her close so her back is to his chest, and ask, “How are you doing?”, his nose brushing the nape of her neck in the process.<br/>
<br/>
When he casually gets out his stash of molly and dabs his finger in, arms still around her, he can tell she’s watching him lick it off, transfixed. Fine, then. If he’s not getting an answer to his question, he’ll give her a chance to take her mind off things instead.<br/>
<br/>
“You invited the wrong dead man tonight, my dear,” he whispers, holding out his finger to her. He can feel her lean forward before her mouth is on his finger, and can’t keep the grin off his face when he feels her lips closing around it.<br/>
<br/>
It’s not that he’s a bad influence who’s eager to get her into drugs. It’s just really, really freeing to feel like she isn’t judging him for his affinity for chemicals for once.<br/>
<br/>
He twirls her around and she giggles, touches her finger to his vampire teeth.<br/>
<br/>
“What, are you here to drink my blood?”<br/>
<br/>
He chuckles, “I’m not gonna bite.” His voice reaches lower, somehow, his lips right by her ear so only she can hear, “… that is, unless you want me to.” <br/>
<br/>
The look on her face tells him that she does. But it’s too soon, she can’t even be feeling the effects of the molly yet, so he decides they’re gonna keep dancing for now. He wants her to be able to experience this fully. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t know how long they stay in that corner, mostly hidden from the rest of the people at the party, dancing to whatever music comes on. It’s amazing how fun the simplest things can be with Lu around — especially when she’s laughing and actually letting loose. (Or, more precisely, when she has a good amount of alcohol and MDMA coursing through her veins.) </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the end, it’s Lu who grabs his hand and pulls him away. The playing field feels almost even like this — her, drunk and visibly at least a little high, and him, just high enough to forget that he wasn’t gonna let her control him like this again. He knows, of course, that he’s the bandaid here — the quick fix to get over the fact that she’s heartbroken. Still, a part of him can’t help but hope that this is the start of something else, that she might just be done with Guzmán for good.<br/>
<br/>
He stops thinking altogether when she looks him straight in the eye, leans forward until he can practically taste her breath, and says “Come with me,” like he even needs to be told.<br/>
<br/>
She’s holding his hand as she pulls him along through the house, and while it’s an innocent enough gesture, he’s glad they don’t run into anyone they know as they make their way through the maze of drunk teenagers.<br/>
<br/>
When they get upstairs, she points towards a door and crowds against his back, pushing him to knock. He does; she pushes him inside and closes the door behind them when no one answers.<br/>
<br/>
The thought that they shouldn’t be doing this here pops into his head briefly, but he ignores it. Home feels very far away right now. Instead, he pops his vampire teeth out and puts them into his pant pocket.<br/>
<br/>
He presses her against the wall immediately, his hands busy unzipping her dress and undoing the neatly tied red bow around her waist. That makes it sound like he's in control here, but she's the one who kisses him first, and moans when the tips of his fingers slide all the way down her back. And yes, he's got her against the wall, but it's not rough or forceful. Passionate, yes, but he's not pinning her there, and she could slip away if she wanted to. Part of him hates that he treats her so delicately, as if she's always a second away from changing her mind.<br/>
<br/>
It’s her who gets desperate to speed things up, pulling away from him briefly to rip the wig off his head, and then she throws his jacket on the bed as well. Almost as an afterthought, she grabs the red bow from where it’s hanging loosely around her waist and puts it around his neck, pulling him closer with it. She undoes her own zipper the rest of the way and takes off the lacy top part of her dress, leaving her in just a corset and the black underskirt.<br/>
<br/>
Lu tends to get impatient with him anyway, can handle almost no amount of teasing, but as it turns out drugs only amplify her need for speed. She’s still kissing him, her lips messy, rough and perfect, as she tries to unbutton his shirt and undo the zipper of his pants at the same time.<br/>
<br/>
He laughs into her mouth and pushes her hands away. The fact that she gets legitimately annoyed with him for unbuttoning his own shirt would be adorable if it wasn’t just really fucking hot. When he picks her up, she wraps her legs around his waist instantly.<br/>
<br/>
She clearly thinks he’s just gonna put her down on the bed and get on with things, but he has other plans. Smirking, he kisses his way down her neck and buries his face in her cleavage.<br/>
<br/>
“Val,” she pleads, and he laughs against her skin. Her hand goes up to grab his hair roughly, trying to pull him up for a kiss but he doesn’t move. God, she’s too bossy for her own good sometimes. He really needs to get her out of the rest of this dress <em>now</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s got his back to the door, so when she freezes up in his arms, he has no idea why. Then, she jumps out of his embrace and he hears a male voice. “Sorry."<br/>
<br/>
Judging by Lu’s facial expression, she has no idea what to do now. “Samuel—“, she starts, but he’s already closed the door again.<br/>
<br/>
Well, fuck. That’s a minor inconvenience.<br/>
<br/>
He fully expects her to run after him, to put on the scheming hat she wears so well and make sure he doesn’t tell a soul about this. But when he reaches for her, grabbing her around her waist, their eyes meet and he has to stifle a laugh. She’s totally even more turned on than she was before, somehow.<br/>
<br/>
“Val,” she practically purrs, her stare not wavering from his, her pupils blown. “Lock the fucking door.”<br/>
<br/>
Valerio does as he’s told and makes sure she’s sufficiently distracted for the rest of the night.<br/>
<br/>
And listen, drunk Lu? Drunk Lu is a lot of fun. But Lu, on just a hint of drugs? High Lu is a fucking blast. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...<br/>
<br/>
The next morning is a rude awakening, in the most literal sense. They’re in his room this time, having gotten home in the early morning hours when neither of them was even remotely up for pretending they weren’t gonna sleep in the same bed tonight. Lu had made a point of locking his bedroom door twice, cracking up in the process, and he’d marveled at how chill she was about the whole thing.<br/>
<br/>
They’re naked, too, which feels reckless even with the door locked. Having her in his bed in regular sleepwear is something he could potentially explain away, but their current lack of clothes would make that virtually impossible. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t know what time it is but he does know the second Lu wakes up, this brief moment of sleepy bliss will be over and she’ll probably yell at him. That’s how these nights usually end — with her blaming him for everything that happened, even if she was most definitely the instigator. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instead of going back to sleep, he forces his eyes open and stifles a groan at the unwelcome daylight streaming through his blinds. Lu’s head is resting on his bare chest, her arm haphazardly thrown over his stomach, and he’s pretty sure he could watch her sleep for the rest of the day and not get bored once. She clearly got too hot overnight in her sleep, kicked the duvet down most of the way, and, well — naked Lu clinging to him as she sleeps peacefully is quite a sight to take in. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Briefly, he wonders if she’d push him away if he tried to touch her right now, if he attempted to extend last night’s fun for just a little bit longer, but in the end, he doesn’t move. Sleepy morning sex is not what they do, and he doesn’t want to give her any further reason to be mad at him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still, he can’t help but trace a hand down her spine, delighting in the way she lets out a quiet, satisfied moan in her sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He somehow falls asleep again, has one of those short-lived, drug-fueled fever dreams, and when he wakes up however many hours or minutes later, Lu is sitting at the edge of the bed, trying to take in her surroundings as she scans the room for something to wear. She looks absolutely gorgeous, even all stripped down like this, with some of last night’s makeup smudged around her eyes, and he can’t help but reach for her arm and pull her back towards him with a chuckle. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Really, he just wants to see if she’ll let him do it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before he knows what’s happening, he’s got her crowded against the pillows, both of them breathing hard, and he knows she’s about to either cry or yell at him by the way that one vein under her left eye is twitching — he knows all of her tells. He won’t let either happen, though, so he smiles at her and leans down to kiss her, delighted when she instantly kisses him back, her arms latching onto his back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lu,” he whispers between kisses, trailing his hand between her breasts and swallowing her frustrated moan with a kiss when his hand moves lower. “You’re gonna have to be quiet for me, alright?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her insistent nodding response is obedient, if only to cover up the sheer desperation he can see in her glazed over eyes.“Can you do that for me, huh?” She doesn’t respond, just grabs his wrist where it’s currently drawing circles on her hip and tries to move his hand to where he knows she wants him to touch her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lets out a laugh, shakes his head at her and pins her hands above her head in one quick move. He’s definitely getting more and more desperate here as well, but he’s gonna take his time with her — there’s nothing more satisfying than seeing Lu, who is somehow always in control of every single thing in her life, quietly lose it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, I’m gonna let go of your hands now,” he murmurs, his voice low, and she immediately tries to move. “Uh-uh, no, I don’t think so.” A quiet chuckle escapes his throat, and he uses one hand to hold both of hers above her head. “You’re not gonna move these, alright?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tests her restraint, leans down to kiss her roughly, and when she moans quietly but doesn’t move her hands into his hair like he knows she wants to, he smiles. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good girl,” is all he says, his lips moving down her neck now. Lu moans in appreciation, and he knows it’s not just because of the way he’s carefully biting a path down her throat. She loves to be praised. “You’re gonna stay quiet and still for me, aren’t you?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’s trembling, because Lu gets very intense when she’s on edge, and he feels her nod where her chin is brushing his hair. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As he bites down on her neck and sucks the sensitive skin into his mouth to soothe it, her back bows off the bed a little and he knows she’s trying really hard not to cry out. He splays a hand between her breasts and pushes her back down against the mattress. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s when she finally angles her hips to grind up against him that he loses any interest in teasing her. She did technically break the rules by moving, but she’s hot and wet against him, and he figures he’s tortured her enough for now.<br/>
<br/>
They can worry about everything else later. For now, he’s gonna make sure she can’t focus on anything other than the way he’s touching her. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">...<br/>
<br/>
Later, after she borrows his robe to sneak out and ignores him for a few hours, he brings her dinner because he knows it’s hard to remember to eat when you’re new to the world of appetite-suppressing drugs.<br/>
<br/>
She’s in her pajamas, a pair of tiny satin sleep shorts and a camisole, her hair a controlled mess around her head. She’s clearly feeling passive-aggressive, if her body language is any indication.<br/>
<br/>
“I told you I’m not hungry,” She scoffs and goes back to her phone immediately.<br/>
<br/>
He isn’t gonna give up that quickly, tells her he knows she loves sashimi. “I know you better than anyone,” he muses and sits down on the bed across from the chair she’s lounging on.<br/>
<br/>
“If you knew me that well, you’d know you’re the last person I want to see right now.” Her tone is deliberate, and he knows she always gets like this after they hook up, like she needs to sell herself on the fact that she was obviously an unwilling participant in all of it.<br/>
<br/>
Coming down from drugs can be tough — especially when you’re not used to it. He knows that first hand, so he tries to cut her some slack, knows she’s probably feeling ambivalent and off right now.<br/>
<br/>
She gets up and walks over to her vanity, and he tries very hard not to notice how low cut her top is, how he can see the curve of her breast without even having to try.<br/>
<br/>
“So what if people find out?” He asks and regrets the question the second it leaves his mouth. “What happens then?”<br/>
<br/>
The looks she gives him is one of pure disgust. He really, really hates when she looks at him like that. “Excuse me?”<br/>
<br/>
“We’re related, sure. But nobody is taking advantage of the other,” He really wants to drive that point home. “We’re not planning on bringing children into the world. So what’s the problem?”<br/>
<br/>
Lu sits down, picks up a hairbrush and tries to tame her disheveled mane. “Yeah, okay, whatever.” It’s not <em>whatever</em> to him — he won’t let her ignore him.<br/>
<br/>
“No, tell me — what’s the problem?” Their eyes meet in the vanity mirror and he sees her face change, sees her put in effort to look unaffected. If she picks up on the challenge in his question, she doesn’t let on.<br/>
<br/>
“Maybe the fact that you’re a junkie?” He looks away from her, trying to ignore her words. “A little boy with credit cards?”<br/>
<br/>
“Or maybe it’s that everything’s a joke to you, including your own future, including me.”<br/>
<br/>
This he won’t take. He gets up and crouches down next to her, his face right next to hers. She really is a fucking hypocrite, like the rest of the family. (Like <em>him</em>, but he never claimed to be perfect, alright?)<br/>
<br/>
“I was already like that when you used to come to my room every night.” He looks at her in the mirror, notes the way she looks down as if to avoid his gaze.<br/>
<br/>
Normally this would be the moment where he’d stop pushing, where he’d avoid any further conversation because he knows it’s counterproductive. But he’s angry now, tired of the constant pretending. He doesn’t care if he’s egging her on, doesn’t care about the way she will inevitably retaliate.<br/>
<br/>
“You started this shitty game when you kissed me for the first time,” He lets the statement linger in the air before he continues, sees her eyes go from indifferent to agitated just a bit. “Just like last night at the party.”<br/>
<br/>
She turns towards him and he thinks she’s gonna kiss him when she says “Sure,” and blinks really fast. “Do you know why I kissed you at the party?”<br/>
<br/>
He leans in closer and doesn’t miss a beat. “Because you love me?”<br/>
<br/>
Even though he knows she does, it still hurts when she shakes her head just slightly, still breathing the same air as him. “Because you drugged me.”<br/>
<br/>
</span> <span class="s1">He’s left sitting there, staring ahead as he tries not to lash out at her. She’s moved back over to her bed, crossing her arms in front of her chest and staring at him, daring him to respond. This is such a typical Lu move, and yet somehow a new low all the same. They both know she willingly took the drugs, of course, but if she ever let herself admit that, she might have to face the fact that she’s just as fucked up as he is.<br/>
<br/>
Still, he tries to be the bigger person. Instead of throwing her breakup in her face, instead of listing all the reasons why she can’t even get someone as easy to control as Guzmán to stay with her, he gets up to leave.<br/>
<br/>
“Fuck you, Lu,” he tells her, doesn’t wait for a response, and slams the door behind him.<br/>
<br/>
Sometimes, he really fucking hates her. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…<br/>
<br/>
They ignore each other for a day, which feels worse because neither of them leaves the house.<br/>
<br/>
This, too, is part of what they do. Sometimes he thinks they only work because they take breaks staying away from each other, as if they need time apart to recover from the intensity of it all.<br/>
<br/>
At Sunday night's family dinner, she makes eye contact with him for the first time in 24 hours and holds the bread basket out to him like an apology, or maybe a peace offering. He grabs a slice, slides his foot out of his shoe and up her calf, and when she gives him the smallest hint of a smile, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he’s been holding.<br/>
<br/>
Valerio knows there is literally no conceivable way this will end well for either them. Thankfully, he doesn’t give a shit about the future — and right now, the excitement of getting Lu in whatever ways he can is enough.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That's it for now! I will at some point tackle the ending of s2 for Valu, but I think that sort of lends itself to a more fleshed out one-shot, not a chapter-style fic. Thanks for reading &amp; commenting, everyone!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>find me <a href="http://cupcakeb.tumblr.com/">on tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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